It’s a little-known fact that you can marry yourselves without a judge or officiant. Really! That means your wedding could be as simple as picking up a marriage license, going on an adventure, and getting married. It could not be more stress-free!

WHAT DOES SELF-SOLEMNIZING MEAN?

Self-solemnizing means performing a marriage ceremony yourself. It’s legal and recognized throughout the U.S. in various ways, and your U.S. marriage certificate is often recognized by other countries.

Since self-solemnizing removes the need to hire an officiant, it makes a lot of sense for adventurous couples eloping outdoors to choose this option. There’s no need to seek out an officiant that is willing and able to participate in your chosen wedding day activities (although I know of some who are happy to adventure if you’re interested in this route) and coordinate with yet another vendor’s schedule. Plus, you may not want to have anyone else at your ceremony — as your photographer, I’ll be using a long lens to give you distance and privacy.

WHAT STATES ALLOW YOU TO OFFICIATE YOUR OWN WEDDING?

Some states, like Colorado and Washington D.C., have very simple processes for self-solemnization. They don’t require extra applications or paperwork, but other states tend to complicate it. I recommend clicking here to check your state’s latest marriage regulations. Search for options to self-solemnize or make a declaration of intent.

For those interested in eloping in Washington state — I’ve done the homework for you. You’re able to self-solemnize, but there is a catch. According to this law, you can self-solemnize if you have someone who is ordained (I am!) witness and fill out the legal paperwork with you, as well as have two witnesses sign, as usual.

WHAT IF YOU DON’T WANT TO GET MARRIED IN ONE OF THE STATES THAT ALLOWS SELF-SOLEMNIZATION?

It’s still possible to have a “just us” ceremony anywhere and still get legally married. The trick is to do the legal paperwork before or after your commitment ceremony. It won’t make your ceremony any less special, but it will let you focus on the most important details rather than stress over legal logistics. In fact, most couples that elope abroad do this.

Self-solemnizing ceremony tips

“Just us” ceremonies are a bit different than typical wedding ceremonies. There won’t be a script or anyone there to walk you through the process, so below are a few insider tips to think about while planning your ceremony.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to go about getting married, so plan to celebrate in a way that is true to yourselves.

Write your own vows

There won’t be anyone feeding you lines of promises to repeat, so you will need to plan your own vows. Most couples write their own vows, or even letters to one another, but do what feels right to you.

Make it memorable

You can choose to get married anywhere while doing anything. Get married at a traditional altar, at the top of a treehouse, mountain, or on a boat in the middle of a lake. Do whatever or go wherever makes you feel most comfortable, excited, and alive.

Check out this blog for more ideas on how to personalize your ceremony.

Ceremony length

Your ceremony can be as long or as short as you’d like. You can plan your entire day around your ceremony, spontaneously do it when the time feels right, or only spend a few minutes on the ceremony itself. There is no “right” length of time or way to do it.

Live out your promises by spending the rest of the day doing activities you both love.

You can still have guests present

This one is totally optional! You can have guests present if you’d like, but you certainly don’t have to. If you need witnesses’ signatures but want to elope privately you can ask your photographers and videographers to sign, ask strangers to sign after your ceremony, and some states allow children and dog signatures, too.

If you need help telling your loved ones you’re eloping, check out this blog.

If you’d like to elope privately, but still want to include your loved ones in alternate ways, take a look at this blog.

Plan the legalities

Do look up the marriage laws wherever you plan on getting married in advance. While some states, like Nevada, allow you to get married the same day you pick up your license, others, like Washington, have a mandatory waiting period.

If you hire an officiant, they’ll often take care of filing the paperwork for you, but if you’re doing this yourself, know how soon you’ll need to turn it in. Usually, it’s between 10-30 days from the ceremony.

Weddings no longer have any rules!

Let go of any preconceived notions or rumors that you must get married in a church, with a pastor, in a white dress and black suit, surrounded by huge amounts of family. Instead, imagine a day where you could do ANYTHING to celebrate your wedding! What would you do?

Let's plan your dream elopement!